I was on stage at a storytelling festival far from home when an audience member asked how I’d become a storyteller. I told her the story of a neighbor’s barn fire that occurred during my boyhood. The frightened cattle scattered. One male calf was found 30 miles away. I learned a little bull goes a long way.
A look back
As 2021 came to a screeching halt, I reflected upon the large number of friends and family who had shuffled off this mortal coil in those 12 months. John Vance Cheney wrote, “The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
There is a Mayflower curse and I have proof. Every single person who came over on the Mayflower has died.
Some things are my fault. I might have that made into a T-shirt.
A refrigerator shrinks more clothing than any washer or dryer.
The weather is mostly out of the ordinary.
I miss being naive.
If you have a pet, you know why it’s called fur-niture.
Bad joke department
If you could either eat bacon three times a day or be in perfect health, would you choose thick-cut, maple, smoked, dry-rubbed, center-cut or uncured?
What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.
What falls in the winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
My grandfather started walking 5 miles a day when he was 60 years old. He’s 97 now and we have no idea where he is.
“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter.”—Desiderata by Max Ehrmann.
Al Batt is a syndicated columnist. For questions or comments about this article, contact Al at firstname.lastname@example.org.